Getting Back on the Horse
Jul 09, 2008
In January 2007, I took a potentially fatal fall on my daughter’s horse.
Two years leading up to that I had been creating a company and finding out about peak oil, carbon dioxide and greenhouse gas levels, and facts like every major ecosystem on the planet being in decline. I alerted as many friends and business associates to this reality as I could. Between the subject matter (climate change) and the very real matter of being a woman in business, I literally hit the ground!
My journey as a woman blazing a trail in the world has been very revealing and enlightening. There’s a saying that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I’ve hesitated to ever write about my experience as a woman CEO. Every newsletter and blog has always had a positive spin and its message has been genderless. However, it’s an act of integrity on my part to illuminate the very real challenge of being a woman in her power in the world today.
In my last blog I said that I loved to go into taboo areas or at least areas that most people feel are controversial and don’t want to look at. So here it goes …
Women, for the most part, aren’t given the empowerment that is appropriate. I’m obviously not the first one to say this. I was raised to believe anything is possible, and with a very open minded father and a powerful mom. Even with that I sit around meetings at my table in my office, and have to deal with prejudice and discrimination. I can tell that the people who come to my office (both men and women) don’t even know they are doing this.
I do want to say that there are the occasional, exceptional men and women who cheer me on ... good friends like Hunter Lovins, Nick Forster, Dave Logan, Diane Dandeneau, and Rick Levine, to name a few. Oh yes, and my devoted fan club, my son and daughter, Abe and Alyssa. :-)
So, when a woman like me doesn’t get ongoing empowerment, sometimes she hits the ground like I did a year and a half ago.
On that day, our horse, Max, reared at something randomly. He stood on his hind legs and there was the point at which I knew he wasn’t going to land back on all fours … we had passed the tipping point. I took a deep breath and exhaled as I slid my feet out of the stirrups. Max’s momentum continued to fall up and backwards, and off to the left side. The entire left side of my body, including my leg, torso, and head, was slammed to the ground with an 1,100 pound horse on top of me.
Max immediately got himself back to standing, and, deeply shaken, I slowly pulled myself up off the ground. Everyone helped me to sit on a nearby couch. Half a dozen people were around … it seemed clear that I didn’t have any broken bones and the general consensus was that I should get back on the horse. I couldn’t find the strength or courage within myself to say yes. Just then, a tall woman named Lynn McChesney, who is the owner of the barn, reached her hand out, shook mine and said, “Welcome to the club of women who’ve hit the ground hard. Now you get back up on your feet and get on that horse and ride!”
Her grip was so strong and solid and powerful, I felt like I went into a vortex when she touched me. It was as if the energy of all women who’ve ever lived came through in that moment.
I got back on Max and continued my ride. I continue to ride still … I now ride an even taller and more powerful horse named Chance … his full name is C R Second Chance.
In the past year and a half I’ve produced 2 Global Warming Expos dedicated to the children of the future and I’ve had the opportunity to work with world leaders on the most pressing needs of our time like climate change, poverty alleviation, global health and education.
It is my great privilege to be a woman in these times riding the challenges inherent in being alive.
I want to dedicate this blog to Lynn McChesney, who recently lost her beautiful 22-year-old son in a sudden accident.
Here is my hand …
Keep riding, Lynn.
Love, Audrey
Let's Toast
Jun 24, 2008
On June 7, my son graduated from high school. Less than a month prior, his grandfather passed away on his 80th birthday.
I was struck with two poignant lessons. First, life is full of transitions, such as graduations, marriages/divorces, and births as well as deaths. Second, there’s never a convenient time for death. These lessons are accompanied by enormous feelings that can overwhelm and engulf.
As a yoga teacher, I chose the path of consciousness; therefore, ideally, I meet everything in my life’s path head on without denial, distraction or ignorance. Even with this approach, the reality of my child growing up and leaving home is hard. It’s not so much the letting go of my baby as it is the realization that he’s growing into an adult and I’m growing older, and … I particularly find more empowerment in the “growing” part than in the “older” part. As I saw clearly in the way of things, old people die.
So … what is this business of growing older? Studies show that people view themselves 15 years younger than their true age. This suggests to me that while our physical bodies may be showing signs of aging, our awareness within ourselves is not determined by our physical age. I think this awareness speaks to the opportunity inherent in the word growing in the term “growing older.” Growing in this way encompasses words like wisdom and discernment and perhaps even compassion. A good friend of mine said compassion is “allowing people to move through spaces that you’ve already gone through.” And certainly, after having lived so many years, we all have been through many spaces! J
It’s at this transition time in my life that I see where I am consciously choosing to shift the way I relate to myself. Instead of thinking about myself so much as a body that needs to look good, I honor myself as the awareness inside of my physical body, in ways that offer unlimited growth and potential. At the same time I honor my body as it moves through its natural aging process and, in fact, work with it appropriately. By that I mean give it the increased exercise and nutrition needed to keep up with my commitment to participate fully in life.
Most people who know me see me as energetic, vital and healthy. They probably don’t know that I’m inquiring into such things as growing older. But the fact is, I’m 46, not 31 (that’s the 15 year variance) and in getting a grip on reality now, it assures a more powerful and healthier future down the line.
I just love looking at taboos … like death, aging, etc. I find great freedom in going directly into the heart of the matter of living. In doing so, I find an enormous amount of energy available. I suspect it takes a great deal of energy to deny, deflect and ignore basic human truths.
I’m certain that the last half of my life will be my finest.
For me it’s all very much like a good wine, where in the first half of life, the grapes have been planted, cared for, nurtured and harvested.
Then the second half heralds the opportunity of actually tasting what has been cultivated.
At this point there is a new dimension present in the wine process.
Once you drink the wine it is inside you, and you experience it with your whole being.
Let’s toast ….
Here’s to going into the heart of the matter and drinking in life to its fullest!!
PS My daughter, Alyssa, said, after reading my blog, “Mom, I’m not waiting for the second half of my life to drink my cup!” …
Change Your Focus ... Change Yourself
May 25, 2008
“Energy flows where attention goes.” When I teach yoga I say this all the time to my students. This profoundly simple phenomenon applies to what happens outside of class as well. Not only does energy flow where attention goes, you also “become what you focus your attention on.”
If you want to change yourself, watch what you focus (meditate) on. Oh ... so you don’t think you’re a meditator? Or if you do meditate, it’s not often enough to count? Well, I’ve got some news for you. You are a meditator and you are creating yourself from that practice, whether you’re conscious of it or not.
Webster’s dictionary defines meditation as “to focus one’s thoughts on,” which suggests that this applies to even when your eyes are open! You are meditating all the time and probably don’t know it. Whatever you are primarily focusing your thoughts on becomes the object of your meditation. I invite you to take this one step further and consider that after a while you become like the object of your meditation. Simply put, you become what you meditate or focus on. For example, pet owners start to look like their dogs, TV watchers start thinking and speaking in terms of commercials and sitcoms, farmers take on the qualities of the land they tend, and new mothers have the softness of the babies they nurture, etc.
So, changing your life is as simple as shifting what you’re focusing on. Really. Advertisers know that their most valuable asset is the public’s attention. They want you to think about (meditate) on their product. For the most part, everyone is unconsciously meditating, allowing outside influences like the media to dictate their focus. It’s an entirely different matter to consciously meditate.
This means to intentionally choose the things you focus your thoughts and attention on.
Your focus has great power, probably more than you’ve ever known.
The question isn’t, “Do you meditate?” -- of course you do.
The questions are:
· “What are you focusing on now that you were unaware of?”
· “Who do you want to be?”
Because it really is true...
You become what you focus (meditate) on.
Relaxing Your World
May 03, 2008
Today, as I was getting ready to ride Max, our quarter horse, the barn manager/owner struck up an interesting conversation.
She was visibly relieved to be out of the house and away from the computer. I found her having a discussion with Rick about her deep gratitude to come outside in the fresh air among the horses, blossoming trees and majestic mountains in the backdrop. She remarked that she couldn’t fathom how people work at their desks and oftentimes in cubicles for so many hours of the week. She said that she didn’t like the person she became when she sat still for so long and absorbed so much unnecessary information like is available when you’re online.
I told her that one of the main reasons why I come out to the barn to ride my horse is because it allows me to balance out my twenty-first century lifestyle, which centers around mass amounts of information, in a rapid paced daily life filled with schools, errands and work. I told her that being in this barn environment allowed me to relax my world.
She looked at me with a knowing stare.
Isn’t it an interesting notion to “relax” your world? What does that mean? Clearly the implications are all positive. As someone who rides horses I know that the more relaxed I am, the more relaxed the horse is. And the more relaxed the horse is, the better the performance. As a yoga teacher I know that when bodies are relaxed they’re in an optimal state for healing, regeneration and restoration. Yogis in India knew that these qualities were the fountain of youth.
I also know that the state of being relaxed doesn’t just happen because you go to sleep at night. Oftentimes we wake up in the morning feeling more exhausted than when we went to sleep.
So what is this business of relaxing about, and moreover, how do you go about relaxing your world?
I heard Rick and our barn owner remark that many cubicle workers seem to require their afternoon happy hour in order to relax. Hmmm … do you think this is what the yogis were talking about?
Perhaps there are other ways, like an intentional change in environment or activity or conversation or company, to bring about a relaxed state of being.
To intentionally make a change in the environment takes something. You gotta overcome a bit of inertia. Anyone who was never a gym rat, yet was able to make a commitment and attend a gym regularly, will know what I’m talking about. It takes something to change your environment or the company you keep or to leave a conversation that isn’t healthy. But once you do, the feeling on the other side is wonderful, like a release.
Releases lead to relaxation.
I found for myself that when I’m feeling relaxed, the world around me reflects back as relaxed.
Just the contemplation of relaxing your world opens the door to the experience. Actions you can take begin to reveal themselves. In the beginning they are simple and straightforward like walking the dog, going for a bike ride, making a pot of tea and sharing it with a friend, or smiling at a stranger.
Relaxing your world is not an afterthought. For the person interested in a balanced life, it becomes a daily habit that is contagious and fun!
The Emergence of Politics in a New Paradigm
Apr 24, 2008
It seems we are not only hearing about climate from an environmental perspective but from a political one as well these days. The climate of politics is clearly changing ...
I see only wonderful things on the horizon ...
I see a new paradigm of politics emerging.
New paradigm politics is not a democracy, dictatorship or a republic; rather it is something that’s never been before. It’s beyond the predictable, brought into being by virtue of the urgency with which mankind is facing an unstable environmental future.
Below are some insightful comments made by my friend Tom Plant, who was a Colorado Representative for 8 years and is now Director of the Governor's Energy Office:
Part of a new paradigm of politics will follow a new paradigm of media. When politicians don’t feel as though they need to be the “story of the hour” in order to be re-elected, don’t feel as though they need to govern to the headline, simple competence can emerge as a redeeming factor.
Our ideological battle lines are defined today as “Conservative” and “Liberal”. But the irony is, we’re both. Who wouldn’t want to be “Conservative”? To be conservative is to be cautious, thoughtful and careful. To ensure the beauty and grandeur of our natural resources are available to the next generation, to enhance stability and sustainability in our society. Similarly, why wouldn’t we strive to be “Liberal”? It’s the foundation of our Democracy. Liberalism is our embrace of freedom and compassion as a people. It is the independence and interdependence of our families and communities for which the founding generations of our country fought. It is the very essence of our Liberty. In fact, the government we most want in our society is both. The politicians we most admire through history were liberal conservatives. So, why do we try and imagine they are mutually exclusive? Could it be a means of purposefully sabotaging our own greatness?
A new paradigm of politics would embrace liberal conservatism. It would strive to achieve a sustainable future for our society that uses both the resources of government and those of industry to create the future we all want for our children. It invests in a vision of what can be, not what is. It acts as a proactive agent for change. A new political and social paradigm ensures that as we grow and develop as a people, we recognize the similarities in our diversity, the interdependence of our individualism and the value of that which can offer us nothing.
It is said necessity is the mother of invention (evolution). The new paradigm of politics is not something better than any of its predecessors. It is simply an expression of the evolution of us as an emerging society. Butterflies are not better than caterpillars ... one simply cannot exist without the other.
No matter who is elected, the political climate will never be the same. Let's focus on the bigger picture that's unfolding before us. Let's welcome a new paradigm of politics.
