Blowing the Mind and Melting the Heart in London

April 20th, 2009 | Uncategorized | 8 Comments

I was stunned. I had sat crying uncontrollably for over two hours as I watched the stage performance of Billy Elliot – the Musical at the Victoria Palace in London tonight. What a way to wrap up my 4 day trip to the UK. The culmination of events leading up to the performance only ripened me toward the experience of a blown mind and a melted heart.

It was only after reading Elton John’s words that I began to even find my writer’s voice to pen this blog:

“I am extraordinarily proud of what Lee [Hall] and I have created for the stage musical of Billy Elliot. The show demonstrates everything I love about the power of art. It can inspire you. It can transform lives. Art can make you look at life in a way you never have before. And it can take you places well beyond your wildest dreams.”

My loss of words, which for those who know me may seem an impossible phenomenon, wasn’t simply a result of the show. The process began when I showed up for my yoga teacher training early Saturday morning. In a heated room full of people from several countries, I followed a demanding set of instructions for hours. The secret was to keep my mind out of the room and let my body flow. I can’t remember how long I hung out in Downward Facing Dog pose, but I experienced burning through my shoulders, down my arms and across my chest, while the sensation of my heart melting permeated my body. At one point, I realized that I was not the only one in this alchemic process. I glanced to my right and saw Rick dripping buckets of sweat and then glanced to my left and saw a middle aged British woman with a red head band pushing herself to the point of shaking arms and strenuous breathing. We were going through the eye of the needle together and having the same realization … we were stronger than we knew.

After the morning session, the room was beaming with light, the kind of light that shines through when a shell or crust has a crack or has completely broken open.

It’s quite a profound thing to experience directly in the body that we are more as human beings than what our mind will ever let us know. For 2 days following this experience, I toured London with a euphoric glow that not only emanated from myself but that I perceived in others. Now here’s the really interesting thing … I could see that others didn’t know they had this within them. I found bliss at 6:30 this morning when the street sweeper startled a massive flock of pigeons, whose low flight pattern out of Cavendish Park engulfed me and a few other people (who seemed irritated by the experience). Oh yes, did I mention that I was up at that hour because I hadn’t ever gone to sleep the night before? Life was too exciting.

Rick and I spent today exploring all of London with no agenda and the only plan getting to our evening show. We were walking to where the power was, around the next corner, to the next shop, to the next park. I felt free. I was free.

At 6 PM we turned a corner and found ourselves in front of the Chinese Embassy. Within minutes, I was face-to-face with Tibetan protesters who weren’t free. They weren’t free to go back to their country or to stop the torture of their people in Tibet. This abrasive contrast of experiences shifted my day yet into another state. What I witnessed was anger, frustration, and yelling directed toward the embassy. The London police were all around to make sure the protest didn’t get out of hand, which, of course, it didn’t, but the palpable intensity was there. I walked over to the protesters and then stood inside the crowd with them for a while. I wanted to cry at the thick feeling of oppression. I literally got short of breath and the back of my throat got tightened up. I asked Rick to get out the video camera so that perhaps we could make a YouTube clip of it.

One of the things the yoga instructor had said over and over was, “Whatever you can do, you must do.” I saw cars driving by and people walking by ignoring the shouts of the protesters. No one was listening. What I realized I can do is really listen to what the protesters were shouting. So I did. And you know what? Within 5 minutes the angry shouting stopped and a low rhythmic chanting filled its space. It seemed to me that their anger transformed into an expression that could be heard. A lot of times people feel helpless in the face of unthinkable circumstances so they do nothing. What I really came to understand is that listening and putting your attention on a cry for help is quite a powerful act indeed. Sometimes, being heard is enough.

It was coming up on 7 and we left in a taxi to make the show at the theater near Buckingham Palace. There I sat in the fourth row, ready to watch a popular musical. Part of me didn’t want to be there – I was still unsettled about the Tibetan protest. As the performance began I knew I was going to cry. If you’ve never seen the movie or the stage show, I can tell you that it has the elements of anger, love, oppression, frustration, passion, self-expression and possibility. Our hero, Billy, ends up transcending his oppressive and dire circumstances and finds that by following his heart and doing the thing he loves he ultimately triumphs. He also found that the path was tumultuous but by staying on it, he eventually got support and uplifted those around him.

I walk a path with Paradigm Nouveau to uplift and to inspire and to step into a world for all. A world where freedom and self-expression is every human being’s birthright. A world where love prevails and fear has no place. A world where the truth can be told and justice is practiced. Sometimes it’s tumultuous for me and sometimes miraculous.

I left the show thinking that Elton John was right. Watching Billy Elliot tonight transformed my life and brought me to a world well beyond my wildest dreams. One day, I know that everything I stand for will be realized.

As I leave London my mind is blown and my heart has melted.